Sunday, March 30, 2008


Today is the end. D-day is tomorrow. I think I can hear the executioner's drum. Dum, dum, d-d-d-dum. Dum, dum, d-d-d-dum. I can't hide from him any longer.

OK-I may be exaggerating. But it still feels like this. Tomorrow I go back to work. I will be leaving Nolan with a babysitter for the first time. He has only ever been left with family, and only for a couple of hours. The longest I left him was 4 hours. It will be almost 9 hours tomorrow, and then everyday until June. Can you tell that I am struggling with this?

There are so many positive things I keep thinking. I really am SOOOOO fortunate. I have a GREAT job with good, supportive friends that have very young children they don't want to leave, either. My schedule is not too demanding, and I will have plenty of energy to come home and be with Nolan. I have a total of 43 days left as a teacher. That is less than 9 weeks. And then I am completely done. I don't have to go back in the fall. I couldn't be luckier! Some women have to leave 6-week-old babies, and not have an end in sight. Nolan's babysitter is a good friend who has 3 children of her own. She is so kind, patient, and easy going. Nolan will be so well taken care of. He is young enough that he won't even realize that I am gone as long as his tummy is full, his diaper is clean, and he gets a good nap. He will probably have a blast watching the other 3 children. I know he is going to be fine.

With all those great things, I still can't help feeling overwhelmed. My emotions are going crazy! I think I might be having some separation anxiety. Mentally, I know everything will be just fine. I just can't get that through my heart.

Let the countdown begin! It will go by so quick, and I will better appreciate my time home with Nolan after I am finished. I am going to go cuddle my sweetheart and enjoy every moment I have.


Melissa said...

Hugs to you. I'm thinking tomorrow will be the worst day, and from there you can count down until you are home with Nolan again. Hang in there!

Whitney said...

hey Hows being back at school going! Hope it's good!